Holiday Extravaganza!

Sorry about the lateness. After Thanksgiving break was over I pretty much had to shift towards finals mode, with school.
The break was good though as I got to see family, some of which I hadn't seen in 4yrs. I really enjoyed seeing my two brothers again and hanging out with them. On Black Friday my youngest brother, his fiancé and I all went to Best Buy for a harddrive I wanted. I tried online earlier but their site was having trouble accepting my gift cards, so we had to do it the old fashioned way. The 3 of us bundled up in a large blanket, amidst the large line that wrapped around the building. We looked similar to the Pokemon Dugtrio.

Around 9pm I had the good sense to call the company and find out that they could order it for me over the phone and implement my gift cards there. So we left all the other poor, cold people behind and went home to enjoy nice warm drinks and decent sleep. Though, I do still love a good Black Friday. My favorite one was one of my first, when my whole family would make a quest of it. At that time I was in charge of the Best Buy deals, my mom and first youngest brother was WalMart, and my dad was Target. The youngest brother was too young so he stayed with the grandparents. Back then it wasn't so crazy so you could show up around 3-4am and get a decent spot in line. They also opened at 6am rather than 12am, like now.
I can remember standing in line with all the other cold people, when my dad suddenly showed up with warm cocoa and a donut, stating that his line wasn't that bad and he opted to go get us all breakfast at the 24hr gas station before getting back in line. It was the best Black Friday ever.

Of course, Thanksgiving ended and I was back in school gearing for finals. The weather also started getting significantly colder, so I've switched over to much more appropriate wear. Though I still get away with my skirt look as long as I wear some warm leggings.

Finals eventually hit and I pretty much did nothing else. In fact, during the last week I was so stressed that my insomnia got worse and I got about 14hrs of sleep in a total of 7 nights. 3 nights in a row I couldn't sleep at all. I tried of course, but most of the time I gave up and spent the night doing productive things like studying, watching anime, or making Xmas gifts/projects. Even my weekends of seeing Husky turned into study time with him, mainly because he insisted. He even threatened to take away my sewing supplies if I even so much as looked at them. I practically lived, breathed, and ate my schoolwork, so much so that I was occasionally just losing it to ADHD.

It was all worth it in the end though. I finished the semester with a B+ in Neuropsychology and an A- in Advanced Psychological Statistics. Once again I outdid myself in my awesomeness.

And thus Christmas time began!!

If there's on time of the year I love most it's winter. The snow, the good food, Christmas music, decorations... I love it all! Christmas is that one time of year that even the ugly parts of town look pretty. The oldies radio station also switches over and plays non-stop Christmas tunes for a whole month. I was thrilled about that, this year, because this time I could play them in my car for however much I wanted and didn't have anyone to bitch at me for doing so. I could listen to them while I worked, exercised, and more. But, of course, I could not get away with listening to them non-stop around Husky. His hometown always overdid Christmas and I guess it took the fun out of it for him. :(  Hopefully he'll get some of that joy back while being with me.

This year was also a huge improvement to any previous years because I got into more of the my city's activities. There was the tree lightings, reindeer viewings (in the city, which was cool), and other fun things that I just never got to do before...or for that matter didn't even know existed. Of course many of them were geared towards kids....which also coincidentally sounded lots of fun too....

And then it finally snowed. I was visiting Husky at the time and could have probably burst into a billion little snowflakes of happiness myself.

Like all holidays, Christmas came and went. I received many awesome gifts, although I'm still working on mine to others since finals kept me from finishing most all of them. My favorite gifts are probably the heart monitor my brother so thoughtfully got me to help in my running and the handmade earrings and necklace Husky made for me, out of rock climbing equipment. They are so incredibly cool and really impressive. I've never had a boyfriend make me something, especially jewelry. Guess that's a nice thing about dating an engineer. Usually I was always the one making my gifts since I held the sculpture degree. Speaking of which, he totally loves the bacon scarf I made for him. :)

I even got new cleaning materials earlier in the month, which was exciting as well.

And now we're on the cusp of 2013. The "end of the world" as predicted by people reading the Mayan calendar did not, in fact, happen...though that didn't stop us from having an awesome time drinking at bars to the end of it all. 

Currently, I'm finishing up my Christmas gifts, as well as other things on my "to do list" that have been piling up over the semester. I've been of course spending more time with Husky, which has been really nice. Next weekend we're going skiing, which I doubt either one of us can wait for. In a few days I'll begin studying for the GRE, as I'd like to take it before the next semester gets too crazy. 

To be honest, it feels weird. I sometimes find myself looking back to last year, and remembering where I was and then realizing just how far I've already come. Last year I spend Christmas completely alone, with my 2 cats and a rotisserie chicken. It wasn't the most enjoyable of times for me, in fact it was definitely one of the worst. And yet here I am just one year later and I honestly almost can't believe how far out of that hole I brought myself. There were times I didn't even think I could. I'm really proud of myself and of course I also have to thank all my friends and family for supporting me through it all. Thanks, everyone. Whether you're reading this or not, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't be more thrilled to finally be able to say I'm person that I want to be and that I always should have been.

And now I'm looking forward to 2013. I know that regardless of what challenges come my way I can overcome all of them with my head held high. I've already taken on some of the hardest so I know I can do it. I can't stop and I won't. I plan on running into the new year at full speed, and hopefully I won't need to stop long for any challenges cause I'll just plow right through them. :)

So with that, Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2013 treats you well and you have much merriment in the next year. Whether you're alone with pets and comfort food, or spending your holidays with friends and/or family, know that bad times seldom last and if you just poke at them enough with a super sharp stick they'll eventually get tired of you and go away.

Keep being awesome everyone.

....awesome like my Sonic costume idea for the next anime convention I go to...

Finals...

I haven't had a post yet because ever since I've come back from Thanksgiving I've been swamped with school work, in preparation for my finals which are in the next 2 weeks. I have been jotting things down though, so when things either calm down or when finals are over I'll be back on track with posting.
For now, here's some miscellaneous drawings that I've been saving:

I've been thrilled lately, that the local oldies station has switched to non-stop Christmas tunes. I'll have more to say about that in a full post...

Running outside has become a major pain since the cold air is affecting my exercise induced asthma. Only needed my breathalyzer once though. I'm determined to build up my lungs, if I can.

Husky came last weekend....only to crack the whip on me getting my studies done and keep me from getting distracted. I thank him for that, of course, but I spent the whole weekend working. :(  Looks like he'll get his revenge next weekend since he'll have lots of work with me.

Yay pajama pants! Lol

This last one is my character in an online game. Very fond of her, but I haven't been able to play any games for months now, since I've been having to focus on other more important things. Oh well, maybe I'll get just a little play time this winter, in between my studying for the GRE... *cue sarcasm* hurraaaaaay...

Cheesy holiday goodness

Thought I'd make a quick post for this week before Thanksgiving, as I'm sure I'll have a Monday post for all of that craziness.
This past week I've been super busy with...everything. I've finally gotten a nice, perfect schedule going for my weeks that fit in everything from school to swimming. Earlier this week I remember thinking "ah, can't wait for the break"...

....but then I remembered that I have a ton of homework and papers to write and still have to keep up exercising...so I'll still be doing everything the same...just in a different location. -_-
The best part of this week though, was the past weekend when Husky visited. We visited our favorite cheese shop in town for a Groupon I had and found out they were having the last cheese tasting (ever) for a 40yr old cheddar. Needless to say we got tickets right then.

From what we were taught, cheese making is kind of like an all or nothing investment. You can try to age it for more years but you never know if it will actually make it to the next year. 15 is about the highest most go, and it was certainly the highest I'd ever had. Supposedly the story behind this cheese is a very old gentleman from Greenbay called the shop to ask if they were interested in buying his 28, 34, and 40yr old cheddars. They thought it was a prank call at first. Those ages are not only unheard of but a once in a lifetime kind of thing. Turns out he was a very old cheese maker who retired several years back. About a year ago he got around to cleaning out the cellar, not sure if he was moving or what the details are on why now, but in the very back he finds these old crates marked with the dates indicating how old they are now. At first he didn't think anything of it and so he sold the stuff to the fishermen in the local town for $5 dollars a pound....  Let me repeat that. 40 year old cheddar, that's actually $147 a pound, was being used at catfish bait. He had started out with 50 some pounds. By the time he called the shop he had 20ish pounds. My heart wept. Then I thought about going fishing.

The shop of course bought all of it and sent out cores to be tested and verified. Some of it was bad, from being so old, so they had to cut that off. Eventually they were left with 17lbs I think. I don't remember the exact numbers. Maybe it was 14lbs. Regardless, rather than sell it they decided to use the 28yr and 40yr in various cheese tastings so that everyone could have a chance to try it rather than a select rich few that would be the only ones able to afford buying it as is. The 34yr they are going to risk trying to age it for one more year and then do the same thing as the other two. 

What was most fun about all of this is that there will probably never ever be another 40yr old cheddar again. At least not in my lifetime...and Husky and I managed to get in on the very last tasting they had for what they had left. The whole tasting started with a 1yr, 5yr, and 12yr. Then we had the 28yr and the 40yr. The first three were paired with a local beer and the 28yr was paired with a port and the 40yr was paired with a 17yr old bourbon. It was really, really cool to be a part of something like that.

And of course, the 40yr cheese was fucking amazing.

I got a nice break on Monday when the city had their 99th anual Xmas tree lighting. It was super awesome. And today the oldies radio station switched over to Xmas tunes for the season, only this time I was able to play them till my little heart was content without anyone telling me it's too early. XD I love Christmas. I might just explode from happiness.

All study and no play...makes for unicorns

 I've been drawing a bit more normally lately. Finally ran out of room in the sketchbook and had to buy another one, so this was the first image I decided to put in it. :)

Pretty proud of it. It was taken from a pic closer to Halloween, since I'm sporting my awesome kitty socks and pumpkin earrings.

Last week I had one of those days where every little thing, that on their own wouldn't normally bother you, kept happening. It was just a bad day. I spilt 2 cups of cheerios in my car, was late for work, didn't feel like I did well on my test, and just didn't seem to feel right at all. I didn't even feel like being nice to the bible people at school.

Luckily it was only one day, and over quickly. For the most part I've been doing pretty well. I've been studying a lot lately. Actually, Husky gave me a few pointers on how to more efficiently study, in regards to my ADHD and OCPD natures of getting so distracted and also trying to get everything perfectly. The help turned out to be fantastic and I've been successfully studying for 2 weeks now! :D I still get a little distracted, which can't be helped, but it's leaps and bounds better than it was before. I'm really happy so I've been trying to stay on task with my homeworks and what not. Apparently, though, we've discovered that not only do I make little noises while concentrating (see a previous post with Ben) but I also make faces while studying...

The only problem so far has been when I try to study on little sleep. Things tend to get interesting. Earlier last week I pulled an all-nighter, which isn't new for me, to get some studying done. After a few hours in the lab (which was the only quiet place I could find) I finally fashioned a bed out of 3 chairs and slept for 3hrs before getting up to study more. Around 5:30am I went home for breakfast and then slept for another 2hrs before studying again.
The second time was with Husky. We went to his workplace, which is awesome and quiet, so he could get some work done while I studied. I didn't get much sleep the night before and after about halfway into the chapter I was having trouble focusing on the pages, which seemed to just get progressively blurrier. After a few more minutes of this my brain could no longer make sense of the book and came up with the only thing it could make sense of before I passed out and slept for the next half hour.

For the most part though I haven't had much trouble.

My favorite highlight of the past week was when I was visiting Husky and got to teach him some dancing. I love dancing and it's so nice to finally be dating someone who's interested in it too. While he's only a beginner he picked up the little that I showed him pretty quickly, and from just that bit I have to say I could have died of happiness right then.

If I had a time machine....

So I've been in the process of downsizing everything. There's much sorting and whatnot while I basically figure out what I don't need in my life and either sell it or Goodwill it. Of course I'm finding lots of things to distract me, during the process, but the real treat (usually for someone other than me) is when I go looking for something and run across my old diaries from middle and high school. I try to hide them from myself every time I do. My mom says they're good to keep for when you're older but I'm older now and still don't know why I don't just burn them. I can never keep myself from reading them again, even though I know the sheer embarrassment of what I used to be is enough to run away and become a recluse.

I had this thing where I would always address my diary. Each post would start off saying "Hey Diary" or "Hey, it's me again" and then end with me making up an excuse for why I had to go and then signing.....yes, actual cursive signing, my name. It was like I was writing a letter every time to this person named Diary...only much, much lamer.

One of my earlier posts from high school was written one night while I was up watching a concert on TV, performed by my current favorite singer at the time, Marc Anthony. At one point I write something about watching him and then say "He's so dreamy!" as if that was a usual thing to say. And yes, I did slant my writing in the diary to look like italics. It wasn't "he's so sexy" or "he's so hot"...Nope. I go for the vocabulary that nobody has used since 1965. I guess I can blame that on my family moving around so much while growing up, so I was pretty sheltered and didn't have much experience with what most girls got at that age. I didn't watch any teen shows and I certainly didn't have many female friends...or many friends period, for that matter, so most of my "boy experience" was gained from books, manga or comics, or suuuuper cheesy movies which tended to use some of the old school vernacular and situations that would never happen in real life.

So here I was acting like a fake girly girl just so I could feel like I was like the other girls in my school. Being a tom-boy in an all-girls high school kind of puts that pressure on you.

I continue writing about how "dreamy" Mr. Anthony is and then change the subject to write how I'd gone and gotten a glass of my mother's box wine and that, quote, "Tee hee! I'm so bad!"

I'll repeat it again in case any one missed it. Here I was enjoying the TV coverage of the concert and had helped myself to ONE small sized glass of my mother's shitty box wine. Now several glasses at 15-16 is something to brag about but here I was with my one little glass, pretending I was such a bad girl for it and acting like it was the taboo of the century.

My parents were smart when it came to teaching my brothers and I about alcohol. When we were old enough to fully comprehend what it was (teens) they allowed us sips of their's every so often. It was also at this age that my father taught me about real beer and the amazing labor that goes into making it...not like this piss water that most big-name companies make here in the US.
This wasn't bad parenting. Actually it was just the opposite. What it did was, in a sense, make us realize that it wasn't a big deal and not something you need to go overboard on. I wouldn't say it numbed us to it because when we all got to college we enjoyed it thoroughly like most normal college students. But it helped us appreciate it more and kept us from going crazy after hitting 21. By then we were like "oh yeah, a few drinks would be great."  Not like "Wooo yeah baby! I'm 21 so let's parteh!!"
Though, on a side note, my mom did totally throw me a private 21st mini-kegger at home, with some of my close friends. :) Thanks Mom. Way better that getting shit-faced at some random bar.

What my parents did really helped my brothers and I mature about alcohol much faster than our peers, and for that I thank them. However, like I said, I was undergoing peer pressure in high school to be a girl and to be a rebel teen. But because of my upbringing with alcohol, and respect for my parents in general, I could only bring myself to take one tiny glass...which for some reason felt like it was groundbreaking nonetheless. I'm sure if I'd kindly asked my mom before she went to bed, " Hey, Mom would you mind if I had a small glass of your wine while I watch the concert tonight?" she might have agreed. So I don't know why I felt it was a big deal but who the hell knows what any teenager is thinking?

And that's not even the worst of it. I was even MORE socially awkward about boys and social stuff in middle school! When I was 13 I was totally about boys. You'd think that was all completely normal, as like most 13yr old girls I fawned over the cute ones (even if they were total d-bags), had a list of cutest ones I liked (for me it was apparently Branden, Levi, Gorden, and Miguel), and wrote about them in my diary. But no. It really wasn't like a normal girl because the boy I liked the most, Branden, was a total douche and hated me...yet I drooled after him to the point where I knew all his classes, locker number, locker combination number, phone number, bus number, address, had 2 candid photos of him, torn bits of paper that I found hanging out of his locker, and a hate letter from him......

Don't belive me? One entry apparently reads (word for word including spelling), "We made Snow Bisciuts in Home Ec. and while we were eating our Bisciuts Branden came over and, just a min. my duck giga pet is calling. Ok I'm back, ah we were just getting to the GOOD part, as I was saying Branden game over to our group and asked if he could have one of our bisciuts!"
Another entry reads, "Branden said probly one or two words in class. Gosh he is CUTE!!!" Notice how it wasn't to me he said these words to. It was just in class...
And this didn't happen just once. I did it again in 8th grade to some poor guy named Eliot. Got hate notes from him too... You'd think I would have learned the first time, but no. I needed to learn the hard way twice before I realized that's not the way you go about displaying your affections for someone.

No wonder I got teased so much... between my wretched attempts at socializing, my 3 giga-pets that I apparently carried everywhere (duck, cat, and dinosaur), being home-school prior, and being totally obsessed with cartoons and comics...I'm surprised I wasn't left as a smear stain on the school hallways.

Taking control

Sorry for the lateness. Most of it is actually school related. I unfortunately didn't do very well on my first 2 tests for each of my classes and pretty much began spending all of my free time catching up and studying harder for the next 2. I did great on one and ok on the second, but improvement is improvement so hopefully I keep getting better. Luckily I got an extra 4 days of studying on one, due to the wonderful flu season.

I also had a number of personal things come up that needed to be addressed. While I can't fully go into the details about those things (to be respectful of the others involved) I can at least give a nice image that I think explains quite a bit on how I at least handled my end.

My therapist is really glad that I basically grabbed each situation by the horns and tackled any problems that I could on my own, figured out my plan for what to do, and prepared myself for what I needed...rather that freak out, let anxiety and/or depression take control, or become the below image:

As cute as it is, I think I much prefer the former of the two pictures.

I'm actually getting pretty good now at either knowing what situations I should and shouldn't care about, what should upset me and what I should let roll off my back, and most importantly recognizing the signs of my dysthymic disorder. Basically, I know when it's right to be depressed (someone dies) but it was harder for me to step back and realize that many situations I was in before didn't warrant that reaction (stressors in life like school, job, finances, or relationships). I not only can recognize the signs of when I'm starting to dip back into those "old habits" but I can also step back and realize why I don't need to feel that way, what I can do to change my situation so it either gets better or doesn't happen again, and do things to help reset my brain's chemistry and mood (like running and other exercise). I'm really proud of myself, and while I'd love to take all the credit I have to say 90% was definitely the help of my therapist.

Unfortunately, since I spent most of my time taking care of those situations, and my school work, I didn't leave much planning for blog posts. However, I did keep up some sketching here and there so that when I was able to post again I'd have something. Only thing is, they turned out to be mostly sketches with Husky and I. But hey! Sketches are sketches so here they all are!


My cookie recipe that I've been trying to perfect for months now has finally been completed. As with all my baked goods I tested them on my 3 male roommates and Husky. The result? My roommates have asked me to either not bake as much or give away the goodies before they eat them and then feel bad for it (the calorie count is not pretty), and Husky had this reaction when I last asked him about it:

He got sick while he was visiting me 2 weeks ago so I made sure to take good care of him, and even visited him during the following week to help out some. Was super happy that he prefered tomato soup with water and grilled cheese with Velveeta slices. Those are big point winners with me.

Speaking of point winners...you know you have a good girlfriend when she finds the reason below as a good reason to love you for...

Aaaand at the same time you've got a good boyfriend when he does things like this:

The last one is a joke between the two of us. We're so damn alike that we're becoming increasingly convinced he was cloned from me (since I'm older) and that somewhere in the cloning process something was changed, which explains why he came out as a male with just a few differences in likes/dislikes, life path choices, etc. Somehow we got on the topic of biggest pet peeves and apparently he hates Africa about as much as I hate stupid people.

And with that I'm off to bed. I'll do my best to get back on track next week with a more appropriate post, though this one turned out kind of fun too.

The best incentive ever

I found out quite a number of my friends read my blog. This of course has made me super happy that my sketches are providing entertainment for them.

And no, my ego knows no bounds.

This past week has been interesting. Ever since climbing that first weekend, with Husky, my left leg has been bothering me. It's gotten worse and now my coach is concerned it could be a tendon issue or a stress fracture. I go in tomorrow morning to have it checked out. Of course it doesn't stop there though. My tics in my right arm have gotten way worse over the past couple of days and really stressed out my shoulder muscles. I have a huge knot in my shoulder as a result and the whole area is fairly painful. I had to break out the sling I keep around, just to keep my arm in place. Hoping everything feels better for the big rugby game against our biggest rival, this weekend....

This past weekend was fun, since I of course spent time with Husky. We went on a picnic, checked out more cheese shops, watched my team play against Illinois (after which he became sufficiently more worried for my safety in such a rough sport), attended an awesome brewery tour at Lakefront Brewery, and even check out a corn maze outside of town. It's tons of fun to get lost for 2hrs with someone who also agrees that maps are silly and you should figure it out without one. There were also fun little games at the site, like archery and corn shucking (which is basically firing a hunk of corn from a giant potato-type gun). We obviously decided to try those out but with an added twist...

Note to self: DO NOT EVER make bets against an engineer who is very capable of understanding the mechanics of things like firing arrows or firing giant potato guns and then being really, really good at them as a result. Needless to say I have 2 rounds of drinks that I now owe, though I did beat him in archery on the 3rd round.

The other fun thing we did was attend one of the best haunted houses in the Midwest, with some of my friends. Now, I do like these things...the only problem is I spook really easily...and apparently have a horror movie quality scream...and usually cut the circulation of whoever's arm is in grabbing range.

Thank god my boyfriend is a rock climber. I was pretty much able to grip his hand and arm for the full hour without him being bothered by it at all. Of course I had lots of fun, but there was still much screaming....

So that was my week! I know this post is a bit shorter than my usual but I've been studying much more and don't want to get too sidetracked. Why, you may ask? Well I found out the minimum requirements for my top grad school of choice and they are...intimidating, to say the least.

Serves me right for aiming for a school that's top 10 in the nation for practically every grad program they offer. The nice thing about it is that it's actually the main college in Husky's city, and seeing as my super awesome boyfriend lives there I have even more reason to want to get into it. He's of course already mentioned how much he'd enjoy that as well, over me going to one overseas. I'll of course choose the one that's the best for me, and he knows that's the right decision too, but after talking with a friend who has studied in the Netherlands I might not look too hard over there anymore. They're apparently not as good and not very personable either. Regardless though, it's honestly looking like the one near Husky really would be one of the best choices. Their psych program is one of the best of the best. Still...those scores require a lot of dedication to achieve.
Luckily, Husky offered just the right incentive for me to really want to focus....not that being in one of the best schools in the US or being closer to him wasn't enough already (which by the way it TOTALLY is)...buuuut......

So, not surprisingly, Husky has become the animal nickname of choice that I picked for him (he approves) and Steiff is one of my favorite plush companies in the world because they are so realistic. However, they're expensive so I unfortunately don't own one of my own. Hopefully that will change soon. I have 3 months of studying, which include the whole month of winter break where I won't have any schoolwork to get in the way. I'll take the test in January before the spring semester starts. Needless to say, I'm even more determined now. The promise of a husky from my Husky is just too great to pass up.