Well! Again it's been a couple of weeks but I am working hard to lessen the gap. I do have valid excuses this time.
About a month ago I was temporarily transfered to a different GameStop location to work, and it unfortunately was not a favored location. On top if that it was way more high volume than what I was used to and the stress of that ended up taking a huge hit on my immune system. I ended up coming down with a shitty, shitty case of strep throat. My throat looked like a goddamn snow storm. The infection was so bad that it ate through the lining in my tonsils and then I had a hole there for a few days as well. Of course the doctor was just thrilled to take a swab. Glad my suffering could provide someone some amusement. I ran fevers around 102 and was out for about 5 days before the antibiotics finally took effect. Needless to say I wasn't in the mood to blog.
The whole experience did however get me realizing that the amount of grief and stress that I put up with at GameStop, for the amount that I got paid for as a manager, was just no longer worth the strain it was putting on my mental and physical health. So I sat down for a few days and crunched some numbers. Turns out my financial aid from school, if budgeted correctly, would fully cover for my rent until June. I realized that my cleaning job, which is all my own time schedule, could then cover any misc bills and hopefully also a bit extra for saving. If I'm really smart about it all I could save up through the school year to also then cover for rent in the summer, effectively making it so that I wouldn't need my GameStop job at all.
So what did I do? I happily waltzed into my job and put in my 2 weeks. It was one of the best days of my year. It felt like a weight had been lifted. I honestly think it was one of the best decisions I could have made. Removing that from my schedule not only removed that amount of stress I was experiencing but also suddenly gave me a lot more time to do the things I wanted. Now I'm motivated to do art again so I'll of course be starting my business back up and selling some things on Etsy. I also FINALLY applied and, as of yesterday, was accepted to be a research assistant in a psych lab on campus! Woo! Time to finally do some SCIENCE!
I'm super thrilled about that one, but also almost equally thrilled that I was even able to join a sports team this year. I'm now officially on the college women's rugby team! I'll be doing that this fall and spring, probably soccer and softball in the summer as well. I love being back into sports, and I've already got a couple of cleat marks and bruises to show off. XD
Speaking of school, it started again as of last week so that would explain why there was no post then either. I'm trying to get my schedule set and get in the swing of things. I really, really, really don't want to fall behind in the readings again. I'm going to try really hard to keep the ADHD at bay, so keep your fingers crossed. :/ I'm taking Advanced Statistics and Neuropsychology. Should prove interesting. My neuro professor is big on addictions and drug reactions in the brain. The below picture was one I did last year after learning about a few drugs, but it seems appropriate to post now.
Other than those things I've really been just enjoying myself. I went to the Renaissance Fair with some friends, for the first time, and totally adored it. I ended up volunteering to wearing a chain mail bikini skirt thing, which was a lot of fun to show off and boosted my ego a bit. I also scored a really cute bodice with blueberries on it. :)
No word on any romantic front, and I think I'm ok with that. Still not interested in jumping into any relationships yet. A small part of me kind of does but it usually gets overridden still by everything else. I figure its best not to force anything and whenever I feel ready is when I do. Have been on a few more dates with other guys since that last time when my keys mysteriously got locked in my car. I'm happy to say I haven't done that since. Lol. I did see a guy this past Sat, from the next big city over from mine, and not only had a ton of fun but was also really impressed. He was nicely dressed, intelligent, and actually enjoys a lot of the same things I do. He'd never been to my city so I had the opportunity of showing someone around, which was equally enjoyable for me as well. I agreed to join him for a rock climbing trip with his school club this next weekend. I haven't been climbing in several years but I'm stoked nonetheless to get back into it again. Not that I needed any more incentive than that, but climbing with a friend sure is nice too. I'm hoping, despite the distance, that we can hang out more.
For all the positive things happening the only negative is my tics have been acting up lately and I don't know why. Usually they'll spike when I'm stressed or when something is bothering me but I can't pin-point anything right now that could be the culprit. Today is the first day in a week that they've settled down a bit, and that's solely due to the fact that Ben was super kind yesterday and rubbed my wrist for a bit to keep the muscles from injuring themselves due to all the jerking.
In case you were wondering my tics are motor and vocal. The motor usually consists of wrist, thumb, arm, and leg jerks, head movements, and face grimaces. The vocal is all incoherent sounds like hissing, snorts, grunts, air blowing, etc. No, I don't swear. The media has really skewed that belief on the Tourettes disorder. It's a really rare strand and honestly I feel sorry for the ones that do have that. It's hard enough having a normal lifestyle sometimes with mine, but I can't imagine theirs.
I also just realized I probably haven't discussed this much, mainly because I'm only just recently getting more relaxed about telling others about that part of myself. I mentioned it briefly in my first post and here and there but not in very much depth. I actually have 5 neurological disorders; Tourette's Syndrome, ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), Dythsimic disorder, and a Learning disorder not otherwise specified. This of course makes me a great candidate for psychology and probably explains why I'm interested in finding effective forms of therapy for others like me, that aren't medication. The problem I faced was there was no one drug that helped all of them. Usually only one would be helped while the others got worse or had no effect. At 23 I gave up on meds and have been working on managing it all myself through cognitive and behavioral therapy with my therapist.
The problem is many people either don't know or don't understand, and in both cases tend to give negative responses because of it. So I've grown to keep it to myself and either make something up if someone notices or just change the subject. This is especially true for the tics. I've been judged a lot for no reason and it can be pretty hurtful at times.
The other disorders are usually easier for people to understand. I'm fairly active and bouncy so no one really minds the hyperactivity but there are times when my inattentiveness can bother a few or get me in trouble. GameStop was one where I couldn't always focus on what the customer was saying because of all the other noises going on in the store. Luckily, because the OCD is the personality kind many people just assume my obsessive need to keep things organized is just an amusing personality quirk. Thanks to my therapist I'm much more ok with admitting when depression is hitting me, with the Dythsimic disorder. For those who don't know, it's really just a much more mild form of the depression disorders.
The learning disorder is the only other one that causes problems for me. For some reason I have a ton of trouble remembering or learning something when there is no application for it. Names are a biggie. If I don't know someone for a long time, and I have they're contact in my phone, I'll need a picture attached to it or I'll forget who they are...which is embarrassing at times. Same for names of things or concepts. If it's just presented to me as is I won't get it and will need it explained in a different fashion, which always seems to astound people who think I should get what they consider basic info. Of course schoolwork is harder because of this. However, if anything is presented in in a way that I understand not only will I get it but my processing speed and comprehension of it go way up. My therapist made me take a whole bunch of tests last spring and my IQ is apparently quite high in this regard, but suffers when it's not explained in the way that I learn. This is why Statistics comes so easily for me whereas basic math facts usually don't. I get really tired though of "that look" I get when someone asks me something about a particular thing and because it's just a name of someone or something I don't know it. I'll get that look and usually a "really? you don't know that?" in a tone like 'are you that oblivious?" Drives me crazy.
ANYWAYS! Didn't particularly plan on talking about myself much in this post but it happened anyways, and I suppose I feel a little better getting it out. Like I said, I've been getting a lot better about not minding telling people about it all...probably due to my therapist. Being in the psych program also puts me around other individuals who tend to be more fascinated by me rather than judgmental. Having a great group of friends now, who just don't care what I am, helps a lot too.
Speaking of friends here is Dante in a cute lolita dress, and Steph arguing against social networking sites that aren't very social.
This last one is just a joke on my smartphone. My notification for texts tends to provide fun for others.
About a month ago I was temporarily transfered to a different GameStop location to work, and it unfortunately was not a favored location. On top if that it was way more high volume than what I was used to and the stress of that ended up taking a huge hit on my immune system. I ended up coming down with a shitty, shitty case of strep throat. My throat looked like a goddamn snow storm. The infection was so bad that it ate through the lining in my tonsils and then I had a hole there for a few days as well. Of course the doctor was just thrilled to take a swab. Glad my suffering could provide someone some amusement. I ran fevers around 102 and was out for about 5 days before the antibiotics finally took effect. Needless to say I wasn't in the mood to blog.
So what did I do? I happily waltzed into my job and put in my 2 weeks. It was one of the best days of my year. It felt like a weight had been lifted. I honestly think it was one of the best decisions I could have made. Removing that from my schedule not only removed that amount of stress I was experiencing but also suddenly gave me a lot more time to do the things I wanted. Now I'm motivated to do art again so I'll of course be starting my business back up and selling some things on Etsy. I also FINALLY applied and, as of yesterday, was accepted to be a research assistant in a psych lab on campus! Woo! Time to finally do some SCIENCE!
Other than those things I've really been just enjoying myself. I went to the Renaissance Fair with some friends, for the first time, and totally adored it. I ended up volunteering to wearing a chain mail bikini skirt thing, which was a lot of fun to show off and boosted my ego a bit. I also scored a really cute bodice with blueberries on it. :)
No word on any romantic front, and I think I'm ok with that. Still not interested in jumping into any relationships yet. A small part of me kind of does but it usually gets overridden still by everything else. I figure its best not to force anything and whenever I feel ready is when I do. Have been on a few more dates with other guys since that last time when my keys mysteriously got locked in my car. I'm happy to say I haven't done that since. Lol. I did see a guy this past Sat, from the next big city over from mine, and not only had a ton of fun but was also really impressed. He was nicely dressed, intelligent, and actually enjoys a lot of the same things I do. He'd never been to my city so I had the opportunity of showing someone around, which was equally enjoyable for me as well. I agreed to join him for a rock climbing trip with his school club this next weekend. I haven't been climbing in several years but I'm stoked nonetheless to get back into it again. Not that I needed any more incentive than that, but climbing with a friend sure is nice too. I'm hoping, despite the distance, that we can hang out more.
For all the positive things happening the only negative is my tics have been acting up lately and I don't know why. Usually they'll spike when I'm stressed or when something is bothering me but I can't pin-point anything right now that could be the culprit. Today is the first day in a week that they've settled down a bit, and that's solely due to the fact that Ben was super kind yesterday and rubbed my wrist for a bit to keep the muscles from injuring themselves due to all the jerking.
I also just realized I probably haven't discussed this much, mainly because I'm only just recently getting more relaxed about telling others about that part of myself. I mentioned it briefly in my first post and here and there but not in very much depth. I actually have 5 neurological disorders; Tourette's Syndrome, ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), Dythsimic disorder, and a Learning disorder not otherwise specified. This of course makes me a great candidate for psychology and probably explains why I'm interested in finding effective forms of therapy for others like me, that aren't medication. The problem I faced was there was no one drug that helped all of them. Usually only one would be helped while the others got worse or had no effect. At 23 I gave up on meds and have been working on managing it all myself through cognitive and behavioral therapy with my therapist.
The problem is many people either don't know or don't understand, and in both cases tend to give negative responses because of it. So I've grown to keep it to myself and either make something up if someone notices or just change the subject. This is especially true for the tics. I've been judged a lot for no reason and it can be pretty hurtful at times.
The other disorders are usually easier for people to understand. I'm fairly active and bouncy so no one really minds the hyperactivity but there are times when my inattentiveness can bother a few or get me in trouble. GameStop was one where I couldn't always focus on what the customer was saying because of all the other noises going on in the store. Luckily, because the OCD is the personality kind many people just assume my obsessive need to keep things organized is just an amusing personality quirk. Thanks to my therapist I'm much more ok with admitting when depression is hitting me, with the Dythsimic disorder. For those who don't know, it's really just a much more mild form of the depression disorders.
The learning disorder is the only other one that causes problems for me. For some reason I have a ton of trouble remembering or learning something when there is no application for it. Names are a biggie. If I don't know someone for a long time, and I have they're contact in my phone, I'll need a picture attached to it or I'll forget who they are...which is embarrassing at times. Same for names of things or concepts. If it's just presented to me as is I won't get it and will need it explained in a different fashion, which always seems to astound people who think I should get what they consider basic info. Of course schoolwork is harder because of this. However, if anything is presented in in a way that I understand not only will I get it but my processing speed and comprehension of it go way up. My therapist made me take a whole bunch of tests last spring and my IQ is apparently quite high in this regard, but suffers when it's not explained in the way that I learn. This is why Statistics comes so easily for me whereas basic math facts usually don't. I get really tired though of "that look" I get when someone asks me something about a particular thing and because it's just a name of someone or something I don't know it. I'll get that look and usually a "really? you don't know that?" in a tone like 'are you that oblivious?" Drives me crazy.
ANYWAYS! Didn't particularly plan on talking about myself much in this post but it happened anyways, and I suppose I feel a little better getting it out. Like I said, I've been getting a lot better about not minding telling people about it all...probably due to my therapist. Being in the psych program also puts me around other individuals who tend to be more fascinated by me rather than judgmental. Having a great group of friends now, who just don't care what I am, helps a lot too.
Speaking of friends here is Dante in a cute lolita dress, and Steph arguing against social networking sites that aren't very social.
Not much else to report. Had a great time at our weekly anime night yesterday since a lot of people came. I drew my cat Sachi, as well as yet another of Ben on the couch. He has a habit of putting his feet on my lap when he stretches out. I don't really mind, but it's amusing anyways.
This last one is just a joke on my smartphone. My notification for texts tends to provide fun for others.
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